Bipolarism and Self-confidence | CPE Project n.3-n.4 part #2 •

Hello peasants,

your Queen is here again, like a brand new - not so much brand new - person!

My bad, awful, depressing and awkward period is officially over, I don't know exactly when, but one day - that of course I don't remember - I woke up feeling better and full of energy. Maybe it's because I finally understood that this two courses (the English one and the French one) are not just a phase.

Do. Not. Get. Me. Wrong. 

I don't consider them useless, of course, otherwise I wouldn't pay so much money for them or I wouldn't work so hard, but there are days in which I feel stuck. Each and every of my friends are achieving different and major goals, and I feel like I'm not doing everything that's in my power to improve myself and go on with my life.

After my graduation I dreamt about travelling a lot, studying in a different city, starting again with new people, and when I think that I'm still here, blocked again in a place in which I can't be myself, I completely loose my mental health. 

But there's one thing that keeps me going on and gives me the energy to make things better: him. 

Yeah, maybe this could be considered a little bit mushy but it's true: my boyfriend - and it still seems a little strange calling him like that - is actually helping me without knowing it. 

It's like he got a spell on me, with him everything seems bright and different, I'm different with him and thanks to him, in a positive way. I don't remember when I started being so pessimistic, but from the first time I met him, months ago, he has always been my ray of sunshine and he made me see things with a different and more positive point of view. 

Adding our love, that creates positive vibes in my life, to my passion for what I chose to study 4 years ago, and to my will to become a kick-ass translator I found the energy to get back into the game. 

So, for what concern the CPE course, we are talking about different topics and we are doing lots of exercises for the final exam and I didn't even know how the English advanced grammar could be so complicated - and for the people who alway said me "everyone can speak english why do you study it?", I just want to say FUCK YOU and try to do my "word-formation" exercises, you can talk to me again only after having miserably failed them.  

If you have read my last post, you should know that I have this beautiful and really funny backlog composition that I couldn't write, because of my lack of imagination, but in order to accomplish every task during this course and defeat the Procrastination Monster, I wrote it. Maybe it's not a G. R. R. Martin masterpiece, but I worked hard and this is the essential thing. 

I post it here, so you can read it and - maybe - leave me some considerations about it. 

I was supposed to imagine having had a work experience in an organic farm, as a volunteer, and write something about it. I had available just 280/320 words - what a struggle! 

Fantastic organic farms,and where to find them. 

I was walking a lonely and sunny road that day, thinking about how I would have survived without my phone and my laptop. I would have spent my summer working in a farm without any connection with the outside world and in contact with crazy people and their bio-food.
 When I finally arrived at the farm, nothing was as I expected. I first bumped up in a friendly old woman who explained me what would have been my job. I’d have to pick strawberries in the green house, whose temperature was high as hell, and then I’d have to replant them. I should have done this every day for three weeks.
Initially it was really hard to work under that green house, mostly because of the heat, but after three or four days I get used to it, and with the perfect outfit I also managed to not collapse on the ground.
 I cannot lie, it was very satisfying working with all my strengths and see all the results with those big, juicy and red strawberries. Moreover, I discovered that the bio-food I hated so much, was actually better than the food I have ever eaten at home. The consistency, the taste and the colours of the harvest were completely different and this made me realised that once home I’d miss that kind of food.
 The owners of the farm were not so crazy as I thought, too. They thought me lots and lots of things about vegetables and fruits, how they should be eaten and treated and what they can do to help your body and even your mind, because eating well means felling physically and mentally better.
 At the end of the day, I can say that working there made me discover new and different things about the quality of the food I eat that I didn’t think existed before.

I know it's a little bit late in the night but if you're reading this, thanks, really.
I appreciate your courage!

So, for today is all,












XOXO,
Ipswich.